I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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