genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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