dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize