Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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