Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
no you cant smoke seaweed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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