Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
