I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
