I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
