My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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