im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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