im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
