It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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