i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
