The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
