You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
