I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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