I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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