Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i would punch a child for taco bell
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
