She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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