you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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