im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
