that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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