She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize