he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
did you just send me my own nude
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
