You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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