i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
