apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This house was built for laser tag.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
