just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
