Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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