tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
