I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
