So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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