Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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