thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
