No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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