Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
