does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
