i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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