apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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