this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
