i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So many bounce houses so little time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
