You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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