what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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