Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
