We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
