let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
