She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
