She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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