and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
