I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
