I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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