The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
