Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
