I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
