So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
