She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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