I'm so fucking centered right now
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
