Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
