the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
