She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
