Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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