haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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