he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize