yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
