what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
