I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
im on a boat
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