Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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