Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
