i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
