There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
