Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
