cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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